Bruises, and things that go bump in the day.

I have to most extrordinary collection of bruises.

Truly. I am a fleshy white art gallery exploring the thema of the colour spectrum focusing on black, green, purple, yellow and blue.

Trouble is, is that half the time I have no idea how the bruises got there. Of course, I work with children - all day, every day - and that likely has something to do with it.

See, lets face it, bumps and bruises really only hurt for a few minutes. Most of us have have the luxury of indulging in those few minutes of "ooowww... I hurt myself..." during the course of our day, and thus remember the incident in all its delicious detail.

Not so for a school chaplain. See, when these bumps and bruises are sustained I am generally surrounded by 30 to 50 people, all under 4' 5". So my bruise experience goes something like this:

*BANG!* (insert collision with door/wall/ piece of athletic equipment/ 5 year old etc)

"Owww, that hurt........ HEY!! I SAID PUT THAT DOWN!! QUIT HANGING OUT THE WINDOW!! I TOLD YOU THAT WOULD HAPPEN! GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF HIS NOSE!!! YOU BETTER NOT BE EATING IN THIS ROOM!!! I SAID GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF HIS NOSE!!!!!"

By the time sanity is restored (i.e. the end of break bell) I have all but forgotten my collision with a dull object (usually a 5 year old). The pain's gone, and the world carries on as always.

Then I go home at night, undress for bed, and my husband's eyes widen as he spies my newest acquisition.

"Where did you get THAT???" he says, and my eyes drift down my arm to a haematoma the size of Toowong.

"I have no idea...." I say, much to his disbelief. And yet, that's how it goes.

Resilience, thy name is Chaplain.