I'll have an Ass Burger with a side of fries.....

My husband is a beautiful human being.

He is kind, incredibly smart, funny, interesting, sexy, intense and intruiging.

He also has Aspergers Syndrome.

That's made life....... interesting, to say the least.

He can be very hard to talk to. He doesn't understand facial expressions, subliminal cues or body language. He can be focused on one special subject to the exclusion of all else. He is hopeless in social situations. He is insanely literal in his thinking - subtlety and double entendre are completely lost on him. He generally thinks only of himself and his world-view.

He has to. Its all he can do.

And I love him and wouldn't change him for the world.

Now, I never imagined that I would be one day married to someone with this condition, although in retrospect, I believe my ex - Brett - also suffered from Aspergers. While we were growing up, though, there was no such thing as "Asperger's syndrome. There were only the "weird kids".

Well, I married a "weird kid", and as I say - I wouldn't trade him for the world.

Life's not easy, as anyone married to an "Aspie" (or AS) will tell you. We NT's (neuro-typicals) operate in a far more complicated and messy world than an Aspie can deal with. Allowances must be made.

For example - my husband doesn't think often of my needs. Aspies don't. I understand that.

But tonight he came home with some allergy medication that I had wanted to ask him to purchase, yet decided not to as I could last until I could get to the pharmacy myself.

But my husband thought of it, and came home with the medication, saying "Oh well, you ALWAYS need this stuff."

I was touched and felt cared for (an unusual situation in an NT-AS relationship), but his thoughtfulness and kindness, in light of his disorder was so touching and lovely, I really needed to write.

If you think you might be in a relationship with an "Aspie", please feel free to email me, or to check out Apsergers resources in your area.

Its not easy, by any means, being married to an AS - but they are lovable, delightful people and can often surprise you......

Bruises, and things that go bump in the day.

I have to most extrordinary collection of bruises.

Truly. I am a fleshy white art gallery exploring the thema of the colour spectrum focusing on black, green, purple, yellow and blue.

Trouble is, is that half the time I have no idea how the bruises got there. Of course, I work with children - all day, every day - and that likely has something to do with it.

See, lets face it, bumps and bruises really only hurt for a few minutes. Most of us have have the luxury of indulging in those few minutes of "ooowww... I hurt myself..." during the course of our day, and thus remember the incident in all its delicious detail.

Not so for a school chaplain. See, when these bumps and bruises are sustained I am generally surrounded by 30 to 50 people, all under 4' 5". So my bruise experience goes something like this:

*BANG!* (insert collision with door/wall/ piece of athletic equipment/ 5 year old etc)

"Owww, that hurt........ HEY!! I SAID PUT THAT DOWN!! QUIT HANGING OUT THE WINDOW!! I TOLD YOU THAT WOULD HAPPEN! GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF HIS NOSE!!! YOU BETTER NOT BE EATING IN THIS ROOM!!! I SAID GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF HIS NOSE!!!!!"

By the time sanity is restored (i.e. the end of break bell) I have all but forgotten my collision with a dull object (usually a 5 year old). The pain's gone, and the world carries on as always.

Then I go home at night, undress for bed, and my husband's eyes widen as he spies my newest acquisition.

"Where did you get THAT???" he says, and my eyes drift down my arm to a haematoma the size of Toowong.

"I have no idea...." I say, much to his disbelief. And yet, that's how it goes.

Resilience, thy name is Chaplain.